Dear Friend,

For the past few weeks, I have been working on my project, The Midlife Conversation Every Woman Deserves.

And if you don’t already know why I set out to create the conversation in the first place, it was because I wanted to write it for me — the younger version of me who had no idea! And just maybe, there was someone else out there who needed it just as much as I did…

Picture this: a 47-year-old grown woman with a life well lived — some good, some bad, the ugly and the beautiful, and everything in between.

I might not have had the highest IQ, but I considered myself to be intelligent enough, capable and witty.

I also considered myself to be fairly in tune with my body, mind and life. I was resourceful enough to make ends meet and run a business, a household, finances, health and family.

But I discovered at age 47 — let me say that again, at age 47 — I was absolutely clueless about what my body and life were about to go through, and what was actually happening behind the scenes.

A significant life transition that I was totally unprepared for — perimenopause!

I’d heard the word being tossed about. It was a topic of conversation between friends and work colleagues, on social media and in magazines (yes, I still read magazines!) lol.

I knew perimenopause had something to do with menopause. It was probably just a new cool word for it? I didn’t know, and to be frank, I didn’t actually care…

Because in my mind, menopause was way down the track when I was old, so I didn’t even consider giving the topic any thought.

For me, when I was old, my periods would eventually stop (and I couldn’t wait for that!), and from what I’d heard, I might get hot flushes, become temporarily irritable, my vagina would dry up and I’d shrivel up along with it…

But when I was old!

Surely I’m not the only one who had a vague and unconcerned view of menopause?

Or maybe I was!?

But here I was at 47 years old, noticing little odd things, feeling differently, behaving differently, forgetting things differently and reacting differently.

Things were really starting to get at me. I was uptight, anxious, exhausted and overwhelmed with work, home, family and children. I started getting migraines for the first time in my entire life. I was lethargic, angry, upset and somewhat resentful.

This was not the happy-go-lucky self that I knew, so I started worrying, spiralling, and eventually I went to the doctor because I was convinced I must have a brain tumour or something was really wrong…

So I insisted on an MRI brain scan.

I went through numerous tests and scans, only for them all to come back clear.

So then I naturally presumed I was losing my mind, because if the tests came back normal, then it had to be my mind — for what else would it be!?

For two more years, I suffered in silence (I think my poor husband would detest that notion), but even if it wasn’t so much in silence, I was suffering.

I was scared. I was second-guessing my own thoughts, and I felt isolated from my world. I honestly believed it was all in my own head.

It was almost my 50th birthday when there was finally a breakthrough, a revelation, a scientific and medical declaration, and a little word — ‘menopause’.

It had been announced, and the words were spoken:

“You are in menopause.”

Wait, what?!

Why didn’t anyone say this sooner? What took so long to come to this conclusion? How could ‘menopause’ cause all of this?

Nothing made an iota of sense to me.

Surely this is a mistake? I still had my periods. Nothing drastic had changed?

Or had it?

The more I looked into it all, the more I realised what had been happening, what was happening, and that the way I understood menopause was totally wrong!

My immediate thoughts were: why?

Why didn’t I get taught about all of this?

Why did I have to go through what I did to get some information?

Why aren’t we taught this like we are taught about puberty, pregnancy and childbirth?

Why, why, why?

It literally doesn’t make sense to me. Are we supposed to just figure it out all on our own, and if we don’t, well, that’s just bad luck?

This is not a case of ‘she’ll be right’.

Women deserve much better conversations than that.

And it’s not a case of ‘your periods will stop one day’.

Thank you very much…

So yes, I’m here putting my hand up and saying:

“I was a midlife uneducated disaster.”

And I hope I am the only one!

But if there are other Me’s out there wandering around, living their lives thinking their period will simply stop one day, this is for them.

And this is for you.

If you haven’t already read The Midlife Conversation Every Woman Deserves, you can start reading the conversation here and have a squiz for yourself.

Start with the conversation. Continue with understanding.

Ang xx